I Want a New Robot
Ok, I’ll be quick. I have a big robot-crush on WALL•E.
He’s the bomb. He’s cute, curious and clean. I want my own WALL•E. I have a Roomba, his name is Giskard. He’s not much fun and he’s not very smart. He gets caught under dressers, he tries to go over thresholds too big for him, he’s always getting dog hair stuck in his wheels and just recently he’s lost both of his bristles. Needless to say he’s not helping me much lately.
I know, I know, get new bristles, get more infrared walls. Well, no stores have either, I have to buy them online. Which means I’ll wait weeks, have my wife constantly asking what the charge is for in our bank statement, which I won’t remember, then I’ll have to fight with those knuckleheads at UPS or FedEx who will refuse to leave the package and instead will leave note after note.
Plus, how am I going to save up money for my new robot, WALL•E?
My crazy Russian neighbor was so impressed with Giskard, that she bought her own Roomba. I helped her name him Daneel.